YOU ARE A TOY

So. That's it. End of my childhood. Done and dusted. Adios. Oh, and bee-tee-dubs, there's spoilers ahead.

For those of you who don't know, Toy Story 3 came out recently. I went to see it yesterday and dear god was it amazing. I went in expecting a lot, but what I got was 50 Bzillion times better. As a child who grew up watching Toy Story, and continued watching it to this very day, it was an emotional event. I would have seen the original more times than the next 3 people together. I know that Woody's belt buckle has a bull's head on it. I know that Buzz is representing the Galactic Alliance as a member of the Universe Protection Unit. I know that Rex is from Mattel. Well, actually, he was made in a small company that, during a buy-out... You get the point. This is all off the top of my head, when I'm actually watching the first movie I can quote it word for word. This movie has imprinted itself behind my eyes and into my brain. But now, it's over.

Many a time I have dreamt of either playing with such awesome toys as Woody and Buzz, and many more times have I dreamt just of them, with myself playing no part in the dream. I guess that's how life is.

The last 20 minutes of that movie were the worst. First, there was the part where Andy's toys were about to get melted and they were all holding hands. Cheesy I know, but as Woody and Buzz reached towards each other I just visualised the heat becoming too much for their cheap plastic, their hands dribbling away just before their fingers could meet.

Then we come to the part that really played to my pull-strings; when Andy was giving his toys away to Bonnie. The little speech he had for each one, for Slinky, for Rex, for Hamm, for Potato Head, for Buzz, for Woody..

"He will never give up on you."

He didn't. Toy Story has always been there for me. It was a figurehead of my childhood. It was a movie to watch with my friends. It was something to reference. It was a friend when I had none. It was a slither of joy when I was depressed. It wasn't just that the series was over. It was that my childhood was. Andy has grown up. He's 17. He's getting his life sorted. He's letting go of his toys.

Me? I'm 17. I work two jobs, I hate one of them. I don't feel as though I'm doing as well as I can in school, or anything else. I'm just not happy.

I'd like to think that I'm down because it's hit me that I'm gonna have to start growing up soon, but it's just as likely that I'm down because the computer I bought for $1100 last week has stopped working.

You know what? Fuck it. I'm one of Andy's Toys. He may have let go of us but there's no way I'm letting go of him. Yet.

"Strange things are happening to me, ain't no doubt about it" - Randy Newman - Toy Story - 1995